As I am made, so I will be

I ignored Aphrodite for a long time because I was fearful of my femininity. I didn’t particularly like being a woman, didn’t feel comfortable with it, and didn’t really understand who I was.

Aphrodite’s power – one of Her powers – is the ability to raise up different forms of femininity. She breaks the boundaries that the media and traditional society place upon women, enabling us to find our own unique feminine forms.

I recognise now that the problem wasn’t me. The problem was the very narrow stereotypes that were available to me as a woman. I couldn’t see myself in any of the roles of womanhood I saw around me.

I wasn’t the Madonna, or the whore. I wasn’t Ginger or Mary-Anne. I wasn’t Hermione or Pansy Parkinson. I wasn’t “as good as a boy any day!” Georgina or that “proper little housewife” Anne. I wasn’t even Buffy and I certainly wasn’t Faith.

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I was Me.

I didn’t fit with what I thought I was supposed to be as a woman. I had no interest in traditionally feminine hobbies. I was tall, muscular and strong. I wanted to be the hero of my own story – not the girl the hero wins for his troubles. I didn’t want to be a trophy for someone. I wanted to win the trophies.

Throwing out the stereotypes

The media and society don’t give us women a lot of options for role models. If we don’t fit the moulds we’re given, and most women don’t, we often feel the sort of discomfort and unease with our femininity that I felt. Or we become uber-feminine in some aspect as if attempting to counteract our failure in other areas.

Love yourself

There’s nothing wrong with us, but there’s a hell of a lot wrong with society. Women are given impossible standards, and we berate ourselves when we don’t fit them.

Of course we don’t fit them. We were never meant to fit them. We were meant to fail. Then we’d feel weak, and we’d lose our inner sense of self. And we’d bicker and compete amongst ourselves instead of supporting one another. And we’d buy into consumer culture (pun intended) in an effort to fill the emptiness within.

Aphrodite claimed me, and helped me embrace who I am. That’s a gift I sorely needed.

She helped me realise that there is power in being a woman. That power comes from understanding the woman you are, not from trying to fit someone else’s model of womanhood.

I became powerful, and found my truest self, when I stopped trying to fight who I was, and stopped worrying about the dissonance between Me and Society’s Perfect Woman (who doesn’t actually exist). Once I stopped trying to be Other, I was free to connect with myself. As I am. With complete honesty.

Finding myself

What I found amazed me. My own form of femininity is strong, powerful, unafraid, statuesque. I’m a true Diva, in every sense. My muscular body is fit and whole, and completely feminine in every way.

Certainly not “Hollywood feminine”. Never “Hollywood” feminine. I don’t want to be photoshopped, dieted, gossiped about, objectified, surgeried, botoxed. I love my body as the perfect vessel for the Goddess that it is.

As I am made, so I will be. I am never going to fit in with the roles that anyone else tries to put me in: I’m much too strong for any roles that are comfortable for others. Many women are. But Aphrodite values women who are strong, sensual, unafraid, original, unique.

Womanhood in full bloom; undiluted.

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